Leaving on a Jet Plane: NEDA Conference 2013

Today is the day I leave for the NEDA Conference 2013.  I can hardly believe that the day is finally here.  I have been preparing and packing for weeks now both mentally and physically.  It has taken up a lot of my time, which is why I have been so occupied and away from both my blog and Twitter.

For me, a trip is not simply a matter of packing a day or two beforehand and flying off to my destination.  It takes planning and preparation that is caused by my eating disorder history, my current OCD behaviors, and a lack of clothing that needed to be purchased.  All those things are time consuming especially considering I cannot always accomplish everything on my own.

But I have made it.  Through help, extra work during therapy and dietitian appointments, and several shopping trips reassuring myself on wearing what is comfortable, I have made it.  I managed to overcome necessary hurdles such as meal, packing, and clothes shopping stress; giving myself permission to nap, snack, etc. while on my trip; keeping my expectations in-check; and accepting that there is only so much I can plan and prepare for and knowing I did enough.

None of it was easy.  At times it was quite hard.  My OCD screamed and fought.  I know, however, that it will be okay.  I have the tools I need—I mostly did already.  I need to continue to reassure myself in my ability to cope and the strength I already possess.  I need to belief that I can do great things because I can.

It is amazing all the things that I have overcome to get to this point in my life.  I have gone through so much and have come out on the “other side”.  If I can fight so hard for recovery through all those things that I have faced, then going on an amazing trip to the NEDA Conference is easy.  And, in the end, I was not chosen for a scholarship for the conference for nothing.  I am not going for nothing.  I am going because of my recovery.  The recovery I fought for.  The recovery I still fight for.  The recovery I believe in so much.  The recovery I hope everyone can have themselves.

I can do this.  I can always do this.

See you at the NEDA Conference!