My Recovery Journey in 2013

Every year in my journal I reflect upon the past year and all of my accomplishments along with goals still in progress and for the next year.  It reminds me of everything that I achieved and allows me to celebrate each accomplishment and gives me a good platform for continuing in my recovery and what else I want/need to accomplish.

One of the biggest rules I have for this yearly reflection is kindness and compassion.  If I am still working on something, then I am still working on it.  If I still did not make it to something on my list that I wanted to accomplish, then that is okay, too.  This is not about what I did not accomplish, but about celebrating what I did.  It about continuing to make, change, erase, or whatever any goals I may have in the future and the future is whenever.  I do not have to accomplish everything in a month, six months, or a year.  There is no perfection here.

Accomplishments

  • Working through difficult issues (some for the first time).
  • Worked through some important OCD issues.
  • Stayed committed to recovery and for the most part did not engage in behaviors all year!
    • This was HUGE for me!  I had a lot of ups and downs after getting out of treatment last summer.  It was last winter, I turned things around and made huge changes and this year really did the best I ever have in recovery.  I am really proud of myself.
  • Improved my physical health through recovery.
    • My body is slowly but surely healing from the eating disorder and it is awesome to hear after a year’s time the improvement in my health!
  • Worked through a significant portion of my fear foods!
    • I have accomplished so much on my fear foods list!  I cannot be more happy!  I am eating foods that I have not eaten in years.  I am so fortunate and grateful for my meal support and cannot wait to knock out those other fear foods ASAP!
  • Made my entire treatment team proud of me.
  • Started writing about recovery and gained more than ever expected.
    • I never thought starting this blog would lead to anything important.  I was so wrong.  I am so grateful for everyone here that reads and every opportunity that has come my way because of this.  I truly do not have words for how much you all and it all means to me.
  • Celebrated my birthday again this year.
    • The story behind this is that I stopped celebrating my birthday many years ago.  I thought that I was not worth it and did not deserve any of it.  It was not until last year that I started celebrating it again.  This year, I celebrated it again and it was one of my best birthdays ever.  I am worth it.
  • Bought clothes for myself using the mantra, “Wear what is comfortable.”
    • This was a huge step for me and I am so glad I did it.  Still need to continue to swap out small clothes and buy other clothes, but I am making more progress than ever.
  • Gained the ability to read again.
    • Up until earlier this year, I had been unable to read because my eating disorder had robbed me of that ability.  My brain could simply not concentrate long enough to be able to read while I was sick.  In recovery, I am able to read to my heart’s content!
  • Took better care of myself this year than ever before.
  • Connected with others (family, friends, etc.) more this year.
  • Ate meals with others and not alone.
    • Big deal for me, too.  I had continued to eat alone like I did when I was in my eating disorder instead of with others.  Long story short, I made a big effort to overcome my fears and eat with other people.  I do not have to eat alone anymore!

Goals

  • Continue writing.
  • Continue to work on my fear foods list and the few items left.
  • Stay committed to recovery no matter what.
  • Build more body acceptance and love.
  • Continue working through difficult issues.
  • Continue to improve my health and heal my body.
  • Continue to celebrate my birthday every year.  I am worth it.
  • Continue to take good self-care and make it a priority.
  • Continue to eat meals with others and not alone.
  • Find more self-compassion, more often.
  • Achieve full eating disorder recovery.
    • This is definitely an on-going goal!
  • Continue to work on my OCD.
  • Continue, “Wear what is comfortable.”

Of course these accomplishments and goals are not an exhaustive list (and I may have forgotten a few big things to write down!), but these are some of the most important recovery accomplishments this years and goals for the next.  I have accomplished so much and I could not be more happy or proud of myself for my achievements.  I cannot wait to see what else I can achieve in recovery in the upcoming year and beyond.  I know, with recovery, I can accomplish the things that were never possible before when I was sick.  I can accomplished my dreams.

What have you accomplished in your recovery this year?  What are your goals for the future?    Remember: Have kindness and compassion towards yourself when writing down your accomplishments and goals and NO accomplishment is too small to celebrate!