The last few days I have felt a keen sense of accomplishment. It feels as though I have past a milestone that I have had for myself for years, or at least I am coming close to passing it. I had feared for the last two years that I would never recover or at least would have to repeat inpatient/residential treatment every two years. I did not want to make that a pattern. I wanted that to be simply a span of time between my first and my second times in treatment. And it has been.
It has been a long two years of tough work to make it to this point. I was not always on the path of recovery. I struggled and strayed for a while after treatment. It was once I made that decision and the reasons why I wanted to recover were clear and present that I stuck with recovery. I was going to recover. Period.
That is one of the reasons why going back to Denver to the Binge Eating Disorder Conference feels so incredible and rife with so much emotion. It is going back to same place where I was two years prior but now as a professional, not a patient. Instead of arriving at the airport, staying at the hotel for a night, then checking in to treatment the next day, I will be at this conference networking, learning, and growing. It is the mere difference that two years can make and it is simply incredible, which seems to be the only word I can use to describe it.
It makes me acutely aware that recovery is possible. It may take time, effort, a ton of hard work, and some slips along the way, but it is completely and wholly possible. It is possible to heal from those things that have held you back for so long. It is possible to overcome obstacles that have been in your way. It is possible to achieve the things in life you never believed were possible.
Two years ago, I went to Denver to recover. This April, I go to Denver to follow my dreams. Recovery and healing is possible.