Ever since I entered a solid recovery from my eating disorder, I felt a calling to have a voice in the field of eating disorders and mental health. I felt that in order to reduce shame/stigma, increase awareness, and help spread the message of recovery, I needed to be a voice in the community—no, I had to be. I knew that staying quiet about what I had experienced would keep me in a place of shame, stigma, and secrecy and I did not want that anymore. I decided to create this blog and write in order to share my story.
I wanted to make a positive impact. I wanted to pay-it-forward after receiving so much while I was in the throes of the eating disorder. It is in sharing my story and doing advocacy that I have tried to do this. With each positive feedback on my work, I know I am doing the right thing for me, that I have done what I have set out to do.
To not speak out for me would be keeping myself in secrecy and shame. Instead of putting a face to this illness and a story of how I overcame what I did, I would be another individual in the shadows. That is not what I wanted for my recovery and my journey.
It is a risk to share my story knowing that anyone can read what I have written. But I do so unashamed of myself and where I have been and where I am now. All those experiences–slips, falls, fails, setbacks–made me who I am. They made me a stronger person. It is those experiences that shine a light on this disease and the journey past them that give hope.
Not everyone makes the choice I did and not everyone has to. That is the beauty of recovery–you get to choose what you want to be/do!
I do not regret my decision to speak out and share my story. It has given me so many opportunities to connect with others, grow as a person, and learn. It has been an extra push for me in my life to make it to the point in my life where I can now say I am recovered. It is a constant inspiration to be not only a recovered person but the person who I am meant to become.
This blog is where I have been and where I am going. And I am unashamed.